A Life Being Lived

Lame...but true!

2011-01-21T14:04:00.000-08:00

I love the WebCam...

Lame...but true!

Break my heart for what breaks yours...

2011-01-06T19:48:00.001-08:00

Something about this song. Gets me every time.

What's even better is when Addison belts it out with me!

We love to worship!

Simple Pleasures

2011-01-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

Pampering means something totally different when you're a 25 year old, working mother of two.

I used to want to go to the spa. Buy new clothes. Get my hair done. Go away for a weekend.

Now, I'm so excited to bring home my very own Teeth Whitening Kit, all $16.97 worth!

I have one in now, thank you.

April 'Til Now...

2010-12-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

My last blog posts were about Barney and Onions.

I'd like to say that my posts may get a little deeper now that I'm a whole 6 months older. But, I'd be kidding myself (and you).

I don't know. I may toss in a tear-jerker every now and again to throw you off; to see if you're paying attention.

Let's see, since April, what has happened? Hmm. Probably too much to list. We moved to Cottonwood. Staying with the good ol' parents for a while. I got a job at Head Start, working with the little rugrats. Alexis is now in MY classroom, which is a bittersweet-kinda-thing. She loves it, I have a hard time. Addison is floating from house to house while I'm at work. We're still figuring out childcare on THAT one. Kenny and I are separating, and it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.

But through the whirlwind, that is the last few months, I've formed such an amazing relationship with God. A relationship that I never really had. I thought I had a pretty good one with Him, but I guess not! I mean, it was good, but not like this! God's love and embrace are incomparable! So, with Him by my side, I am good!

**Today, I will make Christmas cookies with the girls and decorate them. It's my way of remembering how much the simple things matter...**

"Real-Life" Wolves

2010-03-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

I need something to keep my mind off life.

So I'm just going to blog.

Seriously, when did I grow up and have to deal with life's problems? I still feel like such a kid sometimes. I really do. I take a look at myself and think, "How are they letting me raise kids?"

I am about to turn 25. To some of you, I am a kid. But I'm dealing with super adult issues. I have a home to take care of, a husband to "deal with", two kids to raise, a cat to feed, and on top of all that I have to figure out how to take care of me!!!

I'm not sure really where this blog is going. I just know that it feels like I woke up one day and I was thrown to the "real-life" wolves, and I'm struggling.

Onions

2010-01-09T21:14:00.000-08:00

So, I'm kind of obsessed with onions. I will try my hardest to put them in everything I make. I will base my meals around the onions I have. Fresh, chopped, grilled, powder...anything!
Problem is, good ol' hubby doesn't quite enjoy them as much.
The past weeks worth of meals have, of course, included onions. And I've gotten the same response after each one: "It was really good, babe! A little onion-y. You put onion in EVERYTHING!"
Yes, yes I do!

I love onions. Simple as that!

Mommy Confession

2009-12-19T19:40:00.000-08:00

I realized that all I ever blog about is sad things lately. I'm not really a mopey person. So, I'm going to blog about something FUN! Christmas presents!

Any moms out there agree with me when I say that I'm super excited for Christmas morning?? For my kids... And when I say that, I mean that I can't wait to see them open their presents and become elated and overwhelmed with joy! My girls aren't getting a ton of gifts this year, but the few they will open are going to be a huge hit. I seriously am so excited!

But I have a confession. I'm mostly excited for them to open their presents so that I can play with the toys myself!! We're starting to get out of that annoying, loud, sing-songy toy phase and into the Barbies and Littlest Pet Shops. I can't wait to put together all the little play-sets and watch them go! And I will join in, just a little! :)

Our tree is lit almost all day long and the presents are just screaming our names! Only 6 more days and we will be buried in wrapping paper and cardboard! Ahh... I can't wait!

Joy Comes in the Morning...

2009-12-16T13:14:00.000-08:00

Seriously, has it been THAT long since I wrote a blog?! Yeah, I guess so...

I always felt like my life was sort of busy. But I was mistaken. NOW it's busy. I don't know what changed. I mean, seriously, I have something to do pretty much every night of the week. And several things to do during the week DAYS. I feel overwhelmed and emotional.

Christmas always brings such joy. Can't help but feel warm and happy when you look at the little wooden Baby Jesus laying in his manger... Flicking on my tree lights in the morning when getting the girls ready totally starts my day off right.

But this year, there's such sadness as I lay down to sleep. As I think about what an awful year my family has had, I just cry. Christmas time is bringing up a lot of pain for all of us. Although, we're happy to be together... We just will be missing a vital piece to our puzzle this year.

Days start with joy, end with sadness. Not good. Maybe I need to remember that song though, "There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning..." That's kind of the "glass-half-full" version. God will always bring us joy, no matter how much main we're in. We just have to know how to look for it. And how to receive it.

God, keep bringing us joy. Because no matter how much pain we're in, the joy of You eliminates it. We've experienced so much sadness, but the joy You have given us this year, has been ultimate. We could have never asked for more. So, as we lay our heads down tonight and weep, remind us gently that joy will come in the morning.

AMEN.

A Budding Twilight Fan? Or....?

2009-11-24T12:45:00.000-08:00

This is our new wallpaper on our computer. Lame? Maybe. But we like it.
Anyways, Alexis walked into our bedroom the other day and noticed the picture had been changed (it used to be Santa and his sleigh). Here's the conversation we had:

Me: C'mon, Lex. Out of this room, please!
Alexis: Wait. I want to look! (Staring at the New Moon wallpaper)
Me: K... (Waiting...)
Alexis: (Still staring)
Me: Okay. C'mon. Out!
Alexis: I just wanted to look at the boy!
Me: Oh yeah, how come?
Alexis: I just wanted to see the vampires. (Walks past me down the hall)
Me: The what?! (I had NO IDEA she knew anything about this story...)
Alexis: (Turns around to talk, while still walking) The vampires...the boy with the red lips!
Me: Did you talk to Daddy about them?
Alexis: Nope. (Still walking away)
Me: Who did you talk to about them? (Stunned...)
Alexis: (Shrugs her shoulders) The TV!

Umm. She's never seen the movie. Of course. And we've never talked about the story. I have no clue how, or why, she would immediately be drawn to this picture and know exactly what the story is about. So creepy. Alexis sometimes has given me the creeps. I know that sounds funny. But, she's talked about seeing little boys with black faces, watching little kids come out of my room, she has terrible nightmares, and even has told me stories of events that really have taken place, but I know I've never talked to her about. Kind of like the New Moon picture.

She must have seen something about it, but I have no clue where! Creepy... But maybe I just have a vampire-story lover that I can bond with for years to come!

Wal-Mart Carts

2009-10-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Wal-Mart is genius. Best cart idea ever!

Parent Teacher Conference

2009-10-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

I have officially attended my first Parent-Teacher Conference.

What?!

I can't believe it either.

Alexis is doing awesome in school. They had nothing but good things to say about her progress, and her behavior. Sweet! I admit, I was a little nervous. She can be such a little booger at home. But I guess that special Mommy treatment. I think that her school is finally something that is all her own; she doesn't have to share with Addison, or with her cousins. It's special.

I am impressed with Shasta Meadows, they have taught so much already. Much more that I expected. I am looking forward to the rest of the year!!

Alexis, keep up the good work! You're amazing!

Song of Solomon 2:16

2009-10-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

"My lover is mine and I am his."

God's doing amazing things in our marriage. After almost 6 years of being husband and wife, we had gotten to a place where we needed to make changes. Ultimately, we wanted to be together, but there were times that we weren't sure if it was right.
Then God completely entered in. He reassured us that our marriage could once again be amazing. We didn't have to settle for our "okay" lives. We could have passion, romance, and that insane, crazy love that "they" always talk about...
I can feel God protecting our marriage. It's such a comforting feeling, to know that God is rooting for us. He wants us to succeed.
Kenny and I have so much life left to live, and with God by our sides, what a life it will be!!

ABC's

2009-10-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

Addison had a doctor's appointment yesterday. Pretty typical. She got shots, blood drawn for lead testing, and the little once-over checks. But something stood out to me. As the doctor is asking the normal questions about her development, he said,
"So, she's got a few words in her vocabulary?"
To which I replied, "Oh definitely! She has a lot of words!"
He said, "A lot, like more than 5?"
"For sure more than 5!!"
"More than 10?"
"Way more than 10!"
"Wow...okay."
Addison is 19 months old, almost 20 months, and her vocabulary amazes me. I've always kind of thought that her words were a little advanced, but when he asked me if it were more than 10 words, I began to really go through my days in my head and think about all the words she uses. My goodness! It was FAR more than 10. And its not just the number of words, it's her actual vocabulary. She will finish her snack, walk to me and say "Garbage, Mama!" Clear as day, and then go throw away her trash. She will see the buses at Alexis' school and point and say "School Bus!!" I am just amazed. She's a smarty pants.
And all day long it's "ABC's!!!!" Then she proceeds to sing along with me, actually saying most of the letters!
I'm just bragging a little. I can do that, right?!

Dog, Cat, Sky, God, Truck, Car, Rock, Frog, School Bus, Spill, Milk, Juice, Cracker, Snack, Garbage, Did it, Thank You, Please, Cheese, Grammy, Pop, Addison, Mommy, Dada, Shoes, Socks, Diaper, Lap, Book, Girl, Baby, Bath, Shower, Walk, Up, Down, Ouch, Eyes, Nose, Ear, Hair, Chin, Mouth, Excuse You, Welcome...

Mike Williams Jr.

2009-10-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Kim, John, Emily, Me, Jessica, Mike - - All the siblings.

The world has lost a great man.

Michael Lee Williams Jr. was a father, a son, a husband, a brother, an uncle... He was a strong, athletic, horror-film-watching, skull-wearing man. He loved his family, and we love him.

Cancer took over his body and on September 30th (two days after his 31st birthday) his body couldn't fight anymore. It's bittersweet. Over the last week, he was sedated and unresponsive. We knew he wasn't in pain, but we knew it was no life to live. And we, as a family, were struggling every day with having to see him like that. We saw a body that was ravaged by Cancer, and no longer saw the Mike we remembered. And we wanted that to end.

Now Mike is with the Lord. He knows no more pain, he knows no more suffering. I have to try and consider him lucky. Even with how much I selfishly want him back here on this earth. It's such a struggle. I miss him so much already. But we can be comforted in knowing that he has left us an awesome little man, Carson (2 years old). His legacy will live on, and it is our responsibility now to make sure Carson knows what an amazing Daddy he had.

I love you Mike! I miss you so much. I am so sad to know that I will have to wait so long to see your contagious smile again. You're safe now. And I can't wait to be with you again.

God, take care of him. And take care of our family through this hard time.

Addison's Private E-mails

2009-09-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

"Dear little boy I spotted in the cart next to us in line at Safeway, I liked your binky. Where did your mom get it? Think we could meet up and exchange Winnie the Pooh cell phone numbers? I hope I get to see you again..."

"...Sealed with a wet, slobbery, sticky kiss! The best kind..."

"What? He was cute..."

haha...

I Want To Be the Biggest Loser

2009-09-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

I really want to lose weight. I have gained way too much, and now that the girls are getting older, I can no longer use them as an excuse!

I need help, though. I need people to hold me accountable, to encourage me, to motivate me, to keep me on track!

I want to feel good about myself again, and get some confidence back!

So, walk with me and help me get healthy!

Praising in the Storm

2009-09-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

"I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining. As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried You hold in your hand.
You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm."

Experiencing pain and sorrow and sadness and desperation is the worst. But God always finds a way back into my thoughts and knows just what to do to calm my soul. Though we don't know what His plan is, we have to find that comfort in knowing that He will never leave our side, and He will always be with us. Through the pouring of rain, through the rolls of thunder. God will always be whispering in our ears.

God, it hurts so bad to know how much Mike is suffering. But I do find comfort in knowing that you are there. God, show yourself to him. Reveal your majesty. Immerse him in your glory. Surround him with your presence, Lord. Enter into his heart and breathe new life into his lungs. Lord, if I may ask, please remove all sickness from his body. Take it away. Make his body new and let him be born again. Guide my family in a way that will help Mike and Tera to learn to follow you. Show us ways that will glorify you and make you obvious to them. Lord, help us all to cope with this evil that is attacking his body. In such an awful time in our lives, I can still praise you Lord, for you are my GOD! I thank you for all you do for us! You are awesome. Amen.

Like Mother Like Daughter

2009-09-15T16:36:00.000-07:00

Lounging in bed with a box of Cheez-Its and no pants on.

She gets it from her mama...

Progression of Alexis

2009-09-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

May 2006 - - 2 months old

February 2007 - - 1 year old (almost)

January 2008 - - 2 years old (almost)

September 2009 - - 3 years old

(Um, don't mind the "Progression of Fat in Ali's Face"...)

Moments in Time

2009-09-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

Time is limited. So, here's my last couple weeks captured in photos...

It's finally cool enough to swim! Weird, you say? We couldn't walk outside for weeks because we would become instantly sun-burnt. Now that its in the 90's, we can finally enjoy our little blow-up pool!

We like to be goofy around these parts. Alexis takes the cake with this face!! Love her...

We're finally getting used to getting up early and getting Alexis off to preschool in the morning. Don't know what I would do if it were more than 3 minutes away from my house!

Alexis LOVES going to the Stirring on Sunday nights. She gets awesome care and learns about God. Amazing! She even brought along her cousin to enjoy it with her!

Lots of front-lawn-picnics have been occurring at our house! Less mess, more sun, why not?!

Burger King, anyone? We like to eat there because of the "slides", as Alexis tells me. Food and fun!

Mama and her baby girl. We love each other.

Behind bars. Hopefully this is the last time for this! We found this cute little park close to my house. Small and hidden in trees...perfect!

Addison decided she didn't like to sit on the couch anymore. Um, not thinking this is going to work out. Kids are certainly interesting...

These girls can COLOR! Their world revolves around Crayola crayons and Dollar-Tree coloring books right now. It's amazing to see how calm they are when sitting at this table...

Our lives are certainly busy right now. But we are having a blast. These girls are growing up so fast and I don't want to miss a thing!!

Mom's Group

2009-09-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

I am so lucky to be a part of our Mom's Group.

There are amazing women surrounding me there, and I feel so blessed to know them.

Thank you, God!

'Nuff said.

I have it good...

2009-08-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

I am officially the mom of a preschooler. I think it's official after two weeks. Right? My fridge is covered in paintings, drawings, and projects. I have a stack of flyers and memo's from the school that I should probably read. And I'm having to wash Alexis' mouth out with soap daily, figuratively.

Addison is officially a toddler. 18 months old. She climbs. She jumps. She runs. She screams. She graduated to the Stirring's toddler class. She's a toddler. What?!

We are officially the "parents" of 4 pets. We went from having 1 outdoor cat, Camille, to having on outdoor cat, Camille, two teeny fishies, Babies (named by Alexis, of course), and a rat, named Lizard (another one from the mind of Alexis)... Really, Kenny? Did we have to try and teach Alexis about how to raise animals? I can't even do it myself...

In one way, our life is back in order. Kenny is working again. I'm able to get back to my routine and do things the way I like them done. But in other ways, our life is completely turned upside down and we can feel like we're drowning! Our faith and love for each other has kept us going, and we realizing that these changes that are occurring are awesome changes! Slowly, it seems like our life is being put back together, after it was ripped to shreds continuously for months. I just have to remind myself that God is in control and he will always do what's best for my family and myself.

So, I'm embracing the fact that I'm now a mother of a preschooler, toddler, and 4 pets. And I do it alone all day long while my amazing husband is out working his booty off for us! I really do have it good...

The Many Names of Me!

2009-08-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

Jess posted this in her blog a few days ago, and I thought it would be fun.

Plus, I'm waiting on my mom to come over, so I need a time-filler!

Allison- Birth name. I only go by this in legal settings (not like court, but when changing my name, driver's license, birth and marriage certificates...) And there was a running joke for a while where my dad would call me Allison...and it would always be followed by "clean your room..."

Ali- My mother decided that she liked "Ali" better than "Allison." And she liked "Ali" better than "Allie", "Ally", "Alley" or "Alliee"... Didn't think about the name "Ali", pronounced like the one and only Muhammad would forever follow me.

Nia- Have no idea why this really stuck. But Kenny one day, when we were just dating, was being his goofy self, making some funny face and a crazy accent, and blurted out "You're my Lil' Nia!" And from then on, I was Lil' Nia. Even to this day!

Munch- My mama. Love her. I will always be her Little Munch!

Ail- I had a dislexic friend. She would always mess up my name on paperwork. It stuck with Kenny. Teddie, if you're reading this, this is for you!!

Mama/Mommy- A name I will always love. It will be a sad day when the "my" is left off the end.

Allister- It's a friend thing. My male alter-ego! Love you Noel!

Ya-Ya- My niece Olivia could not say my name. "Ali" came out as "Ya-Ya." As she got older, she continued this name for me. It wasn't until she was about 2 or so that we realized she could actually say my real name, but she chose not to! So now her and her little sister Piper call me "Ya-Ya." I hope it never stops!

Some names are fun, some aren't. But they are all me!!

Prayer Request.

2009-08-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me, you will know that I have a brother that has been battling cancer for the past two years or so. This cancer thing sucks.
Its been a roller coaster ride for the whole family. One day cancer cooperates, and the next day it decides it's in it's terrible twos and completely defies everyone's requests.

My brother is awesome. He's been such a fighter, and he's got great inspiration. His wife and two year old son, Carson have kept him strong.

Mike lives with a feeding tube, a trach in his neck, and a lot of pain medication. Since the cancer is in his mouth and neck, he can no longer speak. He now has a computer that helps him communicate. Today he made the decision that he could not live this way anymore. He called Hospice into his home to remove all the equipment that helps his body survive. Without this, God is fully in control. His body needs a miracle.

Problem is, Mike has not yet come to the Lord. I don't know his personal thoughts and relationships, but he has been very openly anti-God for a few years. He has a lot of people around him praying for his salvation, and praying for this cancer to be pulled from his body.

Please, everyone, say a little prayer for Mike and the family tonight before you go to bed. He is a brother, a son, a husband, and a Dad. He's amazing. We don't want to lose him.

New Routine, Same Old Life.

2009-08-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

Last week marked a special milestone in our lives. Alexis Renee started preschool. She attends Shasta Meadows Preschool every day from 7:30-10:30. It's a total adjustment for all of us, but she loves it! She is already learning so much, and has great new friends! Even Mommy is meeting a bunch of new people!

Posing for a picture. She is my little model...

Putting on her listening ears for Teacher Luan.

Learning how to salute the flag, and say the Pledge of Allegiance!

Alexis loves her some puzzles! First thing she went for Monday morning...

So, after getting over the shock of realizing that my life is forever changed, I am settling into a new routine. I love the time I get now with Addison in the morning. And since she's out by 10:30, it really doesn't cut into our days much.
I am now the mother of a child in school. Crazy and amazing, all at the same time!

My Father, My God.

2009-08-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

I feel so close to God right now. I can't explain it. Everything seems to reflect Him. Never before in my life have I seen His beauty so bright and vibrant. I've never seen his glorious creations in such a beautiful light.
I'd like to think that I've always appreciated his creativeness, and his amazing imagination. But something has stirred in me. God has completely filled me up. I surrendered and He has taken complete control.
I was at a point in my life where I thought everything was out of control. My relationships, my finances, my self-image, my sanity... It was just completely out of control. And that's partly true. It's out of my control. But God has a plan. I don't know what that plan is, and I may not even be happy with it at first. But how could I ever second-guess the Lord?
So, in a time where I felt so lost, and so alone, the Lord was able to lift me back up. And He didn't just bring me back to my feet, He carried me. He not only walked beside me, He let me cry on His shoulder. And when I fought back because I thought I wasn't worthy, He held my face and convinced me that He loved me.
I've started listening to Him, talking with Him, and just spending more time along side Him. It's amazing the difference.

Lord, I know I have worried. I haven't trusted fully in you. Lord, help me to understand that with you, I need not fear. Show me that with you I am free, I am whole. You are in control, Lord, and with out you my life would be nothing. I love you so much, God. You are amazing. I want to be filled, always, with your spirit. I give you my whole heart. Take it, Lord, and let your will be done. I trust you... Amen.

Patience is a Virtue

2009-08-21T22:58:00.000-07:00

Motorcycles on the freeway.
Motorcycles on the road, in general.
Not horrible.
But sometimes, or often, annoying.
Not all, but most.

Especially when you pull up in a line of cars stopped at a red light. You've been there, say, one and a half minutes. You're being patient, well, as patient as anyone stopped at a red light. You catch a glimpse of a small, single headlight coming towards you in your rear-view mirror. And instead of the motorcyle man (or woman) stopping behind you in line, like you're taught in Kindergarten, he swerves, nudges his way in between lanes, as if he's following the yellow-tarred-line. He proceeds to the front of line, cutting. Who is this guy/girl? And who do they think they are? I'm waiting my turn, why can't you?

Today, driving home on the freeway, I experienced a motorcycle encounter. This time it was a man on a small bike. Flew up behind my speed-limit-going car (in the fast lane), and instead of allowing any amount of time to turn on my blinker and move courteously to the slow lane, he leaned sideways on his two-wheeler and sped around me. I watched, then, as he did this to about three more cars ahead of me. A few times I thought he was going to try and cruise on up the shoulder. Impatience was spewing out of his chrome exhaust pipe. And as the impatience is filling the air, it enters my body and turns into irritation and annoyance. I even found myself holding onto my phone, thinking about reporting this dude.

Gosh. It is really irritating how impatient and entitled some motorcyclists seem to be. But why do I let myself get so worked up? I took a breath, laughed at myself today, and said a prayer for him. God, let this speedster arrive at his destination safely. And if ya want to spice it up a bit, I wouldn't mind a little traffic jam, ya know, irritate him a little this time. I don't know...just an idea! Amen.

MORE From the Mouth of a 3 Year Old

2009-08-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

On our way to Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party:
Me- Alexis, I know you're hungry. Stop telling me. We're going to have pizza when we get to the party!
Alexis- Pizza?
Me- Yes. Pizza. Yummy, huh?
Alexis- Yeah. I like pizza. But I don't like those black things on it. Those little black round things. Those black donuts.
Me- Actually, babe, those are called olives.

Black donut pizza. Yumm!

Talking to Alexis about preschool while eating some popcorn:
Me- So, did you make any friends at school?
Alexis- No. But I don't like boys.
Me- Oh. Why not?
Alexis- Boys have worms. Worms are icky.
Me- Boys have worms? Did they have them at school?
Alexis- Boys have boy worms and girls have girl worms.
Me- Oh! Do you mean germs?
Alexis- Yeah. Gerrrrms. Boys have boy gerrrrrms and girls have girl gerrrrrms.
Me- Oh. Eewww.

They learn it early. Only two days for Alexis to find out the ugly truth about boy and girl worms!

From the Mouth of a 3 Year Old!

2009-08-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

Alexis is a funny girl. I should start writing all her phrases down, because I can't ever seem to remember them all. Here's a few that I was reflecting on this morning:

Yelling at her cousin: "Oliva Grace, stop it!" Wow, she already knows the "middle name when mad" trick! Way to go!

Going over a bump in the car: "Whoa! That was a big bump! It made my bum feel better!" I would like to think that it was fun for her when we go over big bumps, but I really couldn't even comment on this one!

Watching me get dressed: "I wear little undies, and you wear BIG undies?" Yes, honey, my undies are just a smidge bigger than yours...

After seeing Daddy and Mommy kiss: "Um, I can kiss when I am married?" Yep. And not a day sooner!!!

When Jesus' name popped into a song she was singing: "When I get hurt, Jesus makes it all better?" Talk about melting Mommy's heart! Yes. Jesus makes it alllll better! (She also says prayers every night for Addison...so awesome, right?!)

And finally, out of the blue (while stroking my face): "I like you Mommy." I know she loves me, but it's awesome to know that I'm liked!!

It's a Mini-eat-Mini World!

2009-07-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

Funny how in a world of more is better, it seems like smaller is better as well.

Cars are getting smaller: Aveos, Coopers, the interesting Smart Cars.
Radios are getting smaller: Mp3 players, iPods.
Phones are getting smaller: Actually, they are more thin than small.
Computers are getting smaller: DELL MINI!!

Yes. I am currently sitting in bed, laying actually, and typing on our awesome White Dell Mini! It's so cute and fun! We just got it today, after getting an amazing deal on a refurbished on, and we are super excited!

See, sometimes we are lazy and don't want to walk down our extremely long hallway, and all the way through our humongous living room, just to get to our computer out there. It's easier just to stay in bed. It's hard enough to reach all the way over to the night stand and grab the laptop without spilling the Diet Pepsi and popcorn!

I'm all for things shrinking in size. Can I get a WOOT WOOT for the MINI!!??

Passions

2009-07-31T14:49:00.000-07:00

This week marks Anderson Church of Christ's annual Vacation Bible School. I try to help out each year, whether it's being a crew leader, or just helping to decorate. This year I opted to help out in the preschool class. Kind of my forte.

I've gone back and forth with my passion for children. Sounds strange. But really, I had this crazy passion for children for...forever! I knew I wanted to work with children, so I started going to school to be a preschool teacher. Then Alexis happened. Then Addison happened. The passion didn't die, but it dwindled. The flame still flickered, but it sure didn't shine like it used to. I think it was just that I was so overwhelmed with motherhood, that I couldn't imagine doing that AND taking care of other's children as well. And because I was forced to hit the pause button on college, the interest was shoved to the back of my brain.

Church is definitely fanning the flame for me. I was volunteered to work in the nursery about a year ago, or so, and I loved it, but only at first. A rotation started and now its been a good six months since I've been in there teaching the class, and I'm realizing how much I miss it! My turns coming back around, and I can't wait! Needless to say, that's why I offered to lead the games for the little guys. I have been having a blast. I'm realizing how much fun it is, how rewarding it is, and how much I can learn from them! Children are amazing.

My passion is back. I can't wait to go back to school (hopefully in the fall, if all works out) and finish up my degree. I'm a big kid at heart, so what would be more fun than to hang out with my peers all day long!? ;o)

Yo Gabba, What?!

2009-07-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

We're a Disney Channel family. Never been anything else. Don't know why, but why mess up a good thing?!

Then Charter On Demand walked into our lives. Well, it was installed, but you catch my drift.

Noggin On Demand hitched a ride with Charter and now they live in our living room.

Yo Gabba Gabba is officially Alexis' new favorite show. I'm not exactly complaining. Although the show is a little strange; it's not the worst one she could pick. I am, however, complaining that they only have 4 episodes to choose from on this On Demand, and I've now watched them each about 100 times. I went from knowing absolutely nothing about Gabba Land, to knowing all about DJ Lance Rock, Muno, Plex, Foofa, Toodee, and Brobee. And all their amazing songs.

Teletubbies+Muppets+hip-hop=Yo Gabba Gabba. It's an innocent, colorful, upbeat show, so I'm all for them watching it!

But...

Charter On Demand, please add some more episodes!

PS- My name is Ali...I like to dance!

Time Flies

2009-07-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy month, what can I say?

Life happens.

We are coming up on August. That means Addison is almost 18 months old. Weird. And Alexis is almost 3 1/2. Even weirder.

August also brings on Preschool. Alexis will start school at Shasta Meadows. We are both super excited. Not sure if she really gets it, but she's stoked about going to "her school"!

Words are flying out of Addison's mouth. Its insane to think that she is talking. But really, she says so many different words. Most are interpretable... Dog, cat, fish, baba, wa-wer (water), juice, shoes, eyes, foot, bonk, nose, yeah, no... I love to hear her talk!

Kenny and I are awesome. Kenny is interviewing with a few different places, and we're praying he gets a job soon.

I am going crazy listening to screaming, tattling, yelling, and crying all day long. But God is good, and he gets me through all the tough moments. They really are outshined by all the wonderful, fun moments we have in the day!

I promise to become a better blogger... I'll get on track!

My Life, Actually

2009-06-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

Nuttyness. Crazyness. Insaneness.

My life is all of the above.

It's been forever, but I have an excuse. Well, actually I have TWO excuses! And they are GOOD ones!!

Summer is full-on HERE and I hate it. Too boring to stay inside all day, but it's too hot to go outside. So what do we do? We deal with fussy, annoyed children all day long. Love it.

Anyways, we've been trying to stay busy, which is working out. I really have been doing a lot. Between mom's groups, church, family time, installing sprinklers in our back yard, and actual errands I am forced to run, I don't have much time to think about blogging.

So, here I am giving you an update that's really not much of an update. I'm tired. It's late...for me. And I really want to go dye my hair.

Instead of telling you about anything else, I'll just post some pictures.

Lexi and the Doctor

2009-05-27T16:21:00.000-07:00

Alexis started out her life totally content with going to the doctor. I wouldn't go as far as saying that she liked going, but she definitely was calm during her visits. Up until she was about a year and a half...

Our Pediatrician stopped practicing medicine, and we had to find another doctor. After many great recommendations, we went to Dr. Lagoc. I loved her. Alexis did not. We couldn't even pull into the parking lot of her office without Alexis panicking. Crying, screaming, practically hyperventilating. It was a huge hassle, and a crazy stress on me every time we had to go...

Once Kenny lost his job, we lost our benefits. It was a big disappointment, although it turned out to be a blessing. We had to find another doctor, and out of pure luck, we found Dr. T. (can't remember how to spell the name yet). All of a sudden, Alexis is content again with going to the doctor. And this time, I would say that she likes going.

Today we had to go get her checked out, and she was literally giggling all the way to the office. She couldn't sit still in the waiting room, and sitting in the little room waiting for the doctor to come in was almost unbearable for her. When Dr. T. knocked, she all but jumped out of her chair into his arms. Its a great feeling knowing that I no longer have to stress about taking her in.

We had a conversation later about the doctor, and about why she likes him...

Needless to say, I don't think we'll have a problem with doctors offices anymore.

Alexis likes older men.

Oy Vey...

2009-05-24T21:59:00.000-07:00

I'm at that "wits-end" point that all mom's go to every now and again.
It's been like this for a few days now. Here are a few reasons:

1. I can't seem to keep my house clean. I never used to be one to care about cleanliness. If you saw my room in high school, you'd understand. I'm just messy. But after living with the King of Kleanliness (I know, it's for effect, okay?) I think some of his OCD rubbed off. I now can't seem to relax or feel any sort of ease if the house is messy. With two kids, that's pretty much a constant...

2. Illnesses. I'm so sick of taking temperatures, wiping noses, changing diarrhea diapers, comforting whines, calming cries, and being cooped up inside my house. Now, of course I love being the comfort to my babies, but I can't hold 55 pounds all at once, all day long. While doing the dishes. And folding laundry. And sweeping... This little thing called a "virus" needs to stay far away from my house.

3. Poor Addison is having some major outbreaks right now. Luckily, I think we got her pooping under control. I'm not kidding, she was pooping more than I've ever seen. Like 5-6 times a day. Not cool. And it wasn't solid... We switched her back to regular milk and it seems to be helping. BUT, and that's a big BUT. Her eczema is starting to flare up again all over her legs and back. I know it's because we were outside a lot in the last couple weeks (before the illnesses struck...) and her skin is just too sensitive. How am I supposed to do this? Make my child wear pants and long sleeves in 100 degree weather? So frustrating...

Maybe I should just say that I have two reasons for stress:

1. Alexis
2. Addison

Couldn't love 'em more though!!

Here we go again...

2009-05-19T12:46:00.000-07:00

It's that time again. The time when my hair reaches it maximum length. Well, I'm sure it would grow more, but I don't think I want to let it.

I used to have such pretty, thick, soft hair. Now, it makes it right past my shoulders, and it decides to be lazy. No volume. No body. No umph...

I love the idea of having long hair. I've said this in a previous post. But my ideas are jaded. I watch too much TV, and I can't afford a weave. I'll never have my gorgeous, shapely hair again.

So, needless to say, I'm going to chop it off again. Not as short as I went last time. Just a little below my shoulders, and I'll get some layers in there again. Layers seem to make my hair a little easier to manage!

I'll let ya know when this happens...

From Fever to Measles

2009-05-15T07:56:00.000-07:00

I've never been a neurotic mom. If the girls had a cough, it was a simple cold. If the girls were fussy and had a runny nose, they were probably teething. Fever, maybe call the doctor if it got high, but it was probably just a bug.

My mom was never one to run us straight to the doctor either. I can probably count on one hand the times I can remember going to the doctor. It was always for something really bizarre. Therefore, I never took the girls, unless needed (and for their usual check-ups).

So, when Lexi woke up from a nap on Monday completely drenched in sweat, burning up, and crying, saying that her head hurt...I was alarmed. But I just took her temperature. It was 101. Not too bad. Gave her Tylenol, and told her to lay down on the couch and watch a movie. After about 2 hours of her still complaining of her head hurting I started getting more worried.

As the night went on, I went from being panicked, to being calm. Talking myself in and out of the possibilities. I calmed myself down enough to just let the night go on, keep giving her Tylenol, even though the fever was not breaking, and let her try to sleep it off.

Woke up the next morning, still hot. She was still upwards of 100-101. And still complaining that her head hurt and now her eyes were hurting. Tried Tylenol all day long, and the fever never broke. By 4, I'm starting to get really freaked out. I call a few places, no one could get Alexis in, but after speaking to a Triage Nurse, I was ready to take her into the ER. At this point, because I had gotten myself so freaked out, I was convinced Alexis had Meningitis!

We go to the ER, my mom meets me there, because I'm the biggest baby ever. Alexis was amazing. She was so brave. They had to take a rectal temperature, and I've never made her experience that... She was awesome. She still had a fever there, but again, nothing alarming. The nurses at first wanted to run some tests, collect some blood, but then decided just to give her some Motrin and have us wait in the Annex to see if it brought the fever down at all. As we waited, Alexis got two popsicles. She was so excited!

A doctor finally came over, told us that this virus is going around, causing the children to have a low-grade fever, and it wont break. We just had to let it run its course. Bummer. But at least it wasn't something more serious.

We get home, Alexis is still feeling icky, but now we know. So we give her some more medicine, and send her to bed. Get her up, have to go to an appointment that we already had set up, and the doctor tells us the same thing we already knew. Waste of $25. Come home, and have another day of her fussing and sleeping on the couch, doped up on Motrin and Tylenol.

Thursday morning, we get up, eat breakfast, and as I'm changing Alexis' clothes, I notice this spotted/blotchy rash all over her belly. Tiny little red/pink bumps, covering her whole stomach. Great. I start looking stuff up on the internet. Bad idea, mom's! My panic-mode switched on, and now I'm convinced she has the measles!! I call the doctor and it turns out, she's actually never been vaccinated for the measles! Weird! I have no idea how that happened. But now I'm convinced that not only does she have them, she is possibly going to die. So, I'm freaking out. I take her to the doctor, they make me wait outside! Yeah, I couldn't even come in! The nurse came out and got me when a room was ready, and we practically sprinted through the waiting room, not touching a thing! Doctor came in, looked at her rash, that had now spread to her face and arms, and instantly said, its your typical viral rash! He said it actually looked like Roseola, although she had passed the age the most kids get it. But since Alexis never got it as an infant, he was pretty sure that this was her getting it... Another $25 down. Well worth it though! I would've been quarantining Alexis for no reason!

So. Lesson learned for me. Don't panic. Don't look at pictures or read stories all the internet. Always call the doctor to be sure. And don't let a fever make you think your child is on their death bed.

Dollhouse Success: Part 2

2009-05-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

Had to play with her dollhouse during "quiet time."
Guess it was a little too quiet.
Dolls lulled her to sleep!

Shout Outs and Big Decisions

2009-05-11T11:16:00.000-07:00

I just have to take a minute to give credit where it's due.

This place has changed our lives. Everyone involved is amazing. I'm so excited to become part of this family.

Thanks to everyone for welcoming us. Not only for making us feel comfortable, but for making us feel like you really care. God is doing awesome things here. And I'm so grateful that we can be a part of it!

I love my family at Anderson C of C, and they will always be my family. Although, I feel like God wants us to grow, and especially to grow closer to Him! Sometimes that means taking a step out of your comfort zone, taking a step, moving on. I feel like I need to make a decision that is right for my family, and that decision right now is to become official members of the Stirring family. It's painful to leave my church. But like I said, they will always be my family. The church building is not the glue that holds us together. I have relationships outside of that place with each of those people. And that won't change. I love them all. I just need my family to grow together in God. the Stirring can be our guide.

Wow. I'm so excited, nervous, scared, grateful, blessed...

Mama's Day

2009-05-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

Mothers should be celebrated every day.

But in reality, we're not.

So, I'm cool with one special day out of the year!

This year's day was great.

Church.
Lunch.
Flowers.
Relax.
Church.
Relax.

What a day.

Seriously.

Are you kidding me?

2009-05-08T18:58:00.000-07:00

1/2 box of Cheerios on the floor.

Addison wasn't happy.

Not because I yelled "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" really loud.

She was mad because I wouldn't let her scoop 'em up and eat 'em!

At least I have wood floors.

**Okay, any other time I would just put them right back in the box. I've even been known to salvage what I can of snacks that have touched ground at parks/malls/stores... But I haven't mopped in...let's just say...a while.

Our Day

2009-05-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

Wake Up.
Change Diaper.
Cook.
Eat.
Change Diaper.
Get Dressed.
Change Diaper.
Dishes.
Laundry.
Sweep.
Change Diaper.
Nap.
Shop.
Change Diaper.
Change Poopy Pants.
Shop.
Eat.
Play outside.
Nap.
Sweep.
Dishes.
Laundry.
Eat.
Change Diaper.
PJ's.
Play.
Bedtime.
Snack.
Breathe...

Seriously, I don't know what the girl ate.
I changed at least 10 diapers today.

My days are amazing.

Preschool Update

2009-05-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

I had Alexis' preschool appointment yesterday and all was well. I won't know if she will actually get into the class until I receive "the letter" in the beginning of June.

I was forced to put a second choice preschool down, only because Shasta Meadows tends to fill up quick with it only having one class-time. We went with Boulder Creek Preschool. Seemed like a good choice, and I've heard pretty good things about it. So, Alexis will either be attending Shasta Meadows or Boulder Creek. It's a win-win in my opinion!

Now I just wait...and wait...and wait...

Dollhouse Success

2009-05-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

Dollhouse is far from finished.
Obviously Alexis doesn't care.
She sat at the table ALL DAY.
She only stopped to play with the kiddos from next door.
Feel special Edwardsons!
Needless to say, the dollhouse is a success!

Do I even need to finish it?

PS- She even rearranged my pitifully-attempted
furniture to better accommodate her Polly's!

Ready, set, SNAP!

2009-05-06T12:11:00.000-07:00

Patience. What a concept. It's just that, these days. A concept.

I never would have imagined that going from one child to two would make such a difference. And having that second child grow into such a wild-child makes an even bigger difference.

Some days I'm afraid my neighbors may hear my screams and think I am a nut-case. Then my thought process is: I hope they didn't just hear me scream at Alexis to just KNOCK IT OFF! Oh, well, I don't hear yelling coming from any one else's house. But do they scream like that? They have to. Don't they? Am I the only one? Maybe I need to calm down? Where is my soda and candy bar?

I am really not crazy. I love my girls. Some days are just hard. Really hard.

I'm done being a magnet... I will regret that statement in 10 years, I'm sure!

BackPack Lex

2009-04-29T12:19:00.000-07:00

Alexis is now 3. Having a child turn 3 in a mother's world means one thing. Well, it means a lot of things. But one of the biggie's is that it's PRESCHOOL TIME! Yikes.
It's one of those times that's so bittersweet. (I've realized I've been using this term often...weird...) Preschool is something I've always looked forward to. For many reasons. Such an exciting time for both mother and child. A big step towards growing up. A little bit of time for mom to relax (or in my case, spend some quality time with Addison).
But preschool is also something that terrifies me. Taking Alexis to this random place, dropping her off, and completely entrusting my child's life with strangers. Lex is such an attached little girl. I know it won't be easy. And it breaks my heart to think about how scared she is going to be!
I've always been a huge pro-preschool-er. I've gone to school for Early Childhood Education, and I've worked in preschools. I know they are great. They are so important and influential in a child's little life.
So, after a lot of time and research, I decided to just apply to Shasta Meadows Preschool. It's a state-run school, so it's free. I've heard good things about the school, so I'm comfortable with it. There's just no guarantees that Lex will get in, since she is just 3. 4's get in first, then they take lowest-income 3's and work their way up until the class is filled. So, I can't get my hopes up just yet.
I have a meeting with them on May 6th, and we'll see what happens from there!
I could very well have a backpack wearing, lunchbox carrying, school going little 3 year old...VERY SOON!

Dollhouse: Day 2

2009-04-25T12:26:00.001-07:00

A few pieces of furniture down, LOTS more to go!

I made a couple chairs, a bed, and a rug. Totally cute. Not the best craftsmanship, but it's the best I could do with cardboard and scrapbook paper!

I still haven't painted the outside. But I'm working on it! I'm still trying to figure out HOW to paint it. I'm not the best artist...so we'll see how it turns out. I guess that's why I'm putting it off, I'm so scared of messing it up!

Anyways, it's coming along. And poor Lexi is freaking out because she wants to play with it so bad!! Soon enough...

Dollhouse: Day 1

2009-04-23T17:09:00.001-07:00

Day 1 of the Dollhouse Project has been a success. Started with a medium sized cardboard box, cut it down to a shell of a house. Then gathered some scrapbooking paper that would look good as "carpet" and "wallpaper"...

Check out the progress. Please keep in mind that this is my FIRST EVER dollhouse. It's cardboard, it won't be perfect, and I'm still learning how to be crafty!! This is intended to be a dollhouse she can use for a while, either while we save for a nice one, or I can build a real wooden one!! :o)

Day 2 will be painting the outside, adding windows and doors (pictures, not actually cut-outs), and possibly adding a roof!

Day 3 will be starting on some furniture!

Welcome to MY Dollhouse!

2009-04-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

As a kid, it was my DREAM to own an elaborate dollhouse. I can remember seeing them on TV, in catalogs, and at friend's houses. It was the first item on my Christmas list every year until I was like thirteen! Even then I wanted one but figured it was useless. I never got one.

I understand now. Dollhouses could break the bank! The cheapest one I found was on Wal-Mart's website, and was $30. Sounds good, right? It was about the size of a Polly Pocket house. Cute, but tiny. And there was about five accessories that you could buy, but could only buy them online. Grr... The next step up was a bigger version of the first, and it was $70! Each accessory was, on average, $10. Easily that would add up to $100 and you'd have to explain to your child why some rooms don't get to have furniture, and why the kids don't get to have a daddy or a dog. Or a car...

It came to me today, as I was surfing the net. I could MAKE a dollhouse. Out of wood, cardboard...anything! I mean, I'm not super handy, but I think it could be a good project! I did some research, and I think it will be super fun! A dollhouse made from a cardboard box, furniture made from cardboard and random household items, and a very excited little girl! (And mom!!!)

I'm stoked, and will be borrowing my mom's hot glue gun tomorrow! I'll definitely be posting pictures along the way!!!

A reference picture:

Anxious and overwhelmed and disappointed, oh my!!

2009-04-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

Today was awful. I felt anxious from the minute I woke up. Something just wasn't right. I tried taking Alexis to the park to play with the Stirring kiddos, and even that didn't help. Made it worse, really!

Came home to Addison looking awful and sounding just the same! Her eczema is so bad right now, that I don't even want to take the girl outside. Sounds really bad, but she just looks terrible! And she's got this deep, chunky cough, that I'm sure is because of allergies. Her nose is running like a faucet, but it's clear, so there's another allergy red-flag! This heat, and all the dang pollen in the air!! Makes it really hard for those with sensitive skin/bodies, and for those of us with sensitive kids!! And after some annoying misunderstandings, we finally got some cream to try for Addison. It's exciting. But we can't get our hopes up. Today was the first day, so we'll see...

Alexis is driving me nuts, because she refuses to poop in the toilet. It's caused some major constipation, and STILL it doesn't phase her. I've tried all the tactics. Her TV is off in her room, I've let her watch about an hour's worth of a Sesame Street DVD that we have, and that's it. Other times she does her puzzles or plays with Addison. I don't think taking the TV away is working...

My problem...I find myself getting so worked up about the smallest things. Like Alexis' potty training. Its extremely frustrating. But I need to remember that she has always been super sensitive. And she really needs my structure. I just tend to get mad and want to give up. But that doesn't solve anything. I am so afraid of my kids not turning out how they are "supposed" to, so I worry too much. I don't want Alexis to be sad, and by me always so upset with her, I worry that she is...

I don't know. I am just in a crazy mood right now. I'm feeling super upset with myself and overwhelmed by responsibility...

**SIGH** I need to just relax.

Meet Alexis Renee...

2009-04-15T22:15:00.001-07:00

While perusing my blog, I realized that I had several posts talking only about Addison, but NONE for Alexis. I started feeling like a bad mom. Like I was favoring one child. Guilt set in... And now comes a post just for you, Alexis!

Alexis is a tough child. She's never satisfied with anything. I always say that she is my "grass is greener girl"! For example, she begs and begs to go outside and play. We get outside, she's bored within minutes and wants to go back inside. We pack up, go inside, and again, within minutes, you guessed it, she wants to go outside. Grass isn't always greener Alexis! And her WHINE! She's got this crazy high voice, and when she whines it hits pitches that I don't think are legal. And she pretty much whines all day long. When she's hungry, when she's tired, when she gets "hurt" (which is OFTEN), when she has to go potty, when Addison takes something that she thinks belongs only to her... I have never been able to handle whining, from anyone, but her whine is extra frustrating!

Aside from her being a little dissatisfied, and quite whiny, she is one of the most affectionate little girls I've ever met! I couldn't tell you how many times I hear her high-pitched voice tell me she loves me throughout the day. She will come up to me, put her little hands around my face and plant a big fat kiss on my lips. Talk about melting your heart. She is a whiz at puzzles and can complete a 63 Disney Princess puzzle is 10 minutes or less. I think she will become a musician, singer, or really anything having to do with music. She loves it. She's three years old and sings most words to any K-Love song that plays. Give her a Hannah Montana CD and she'll show ya how to do it! She blows me away with how much she remembers!! And how much she picks up! I don't think I was memorizing songs when I was a toddler!

Alexis Renee. She's my first baby. I complain, I get annoyed. But I love her. And I, of course, would not trade her for the world! Not even for a giant bowl of Safeway's Baked Potato Soup! Yeah, that's my fave...

Bittersweet...

2009-04-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

Addison has never been a baby who likes to fall asleep being held. She wanted her space. She practically begged me to put her in the crib at 3 months. She didn't need me anymore. And after some mourning, feeling like an "empty-nester", I put her in her crib.

I soon found myself smiling, instead of crying. My own space. Marvelous. It's been great. I've been blessed with two awesome sleepers. I get my sleep. They get theirs. Makes for great days.

Until this week. Addison decided that I needed her in my arms more than I needed my ZZZ's. Middle of the night for the past two nights, she has screamed that certain scream that all mom's dread. Wakes you up out of a dead sleep, you start panicking because you're still half asleep. I walk across the hall thinking there will be some mythical creature holding my daughter, or something. Then when I open the door, I fully wake up and realize, no, its just Addison...crying...awake...crying... I try to soothe her. I try to give her a small bottle. Nothing works. I'm forced to pick her up. Sit on the couch, and within minutes she's asleep on my chest.

I'm super tired. Super irritable. But glancing down and seeing my baby girl fast asleep in my arms...makes it all go away. I slide down, get myself covered with the throw blanket...drift off into sweet slumber with Addison snoring in my face.

Bittersweet...

Weekend Update

2009-04-13T21:46:00.000-07:00

I had a crazy weekend.

Celebrated Jesus and the fact that he has risen. Got to be with family, who are all great in their own ways. Hunted dozens of plastic, candy-filled eggs, and managed to eat more of their contents than my kids. Played at the park with my girls and hubby, while partying with the Edwardson's for Adiah's birthday. Awesome.

Then got news that my best friends little boy (just a month old) has Bacterial Meningitis and was flown to Sutter Medical Center for more attention. He is in critical condition... I can't imagine, as a mom, what they are going through. Prayer is all we have now, so it's what I've been doing all day!

Now I am relaxing, blogging, lounging. Kenny is with the Stirring dudes, learning this crazy world of "Settlers" we keep hearing about! Stay out as long as you want, Kenny! I am enjoying the time. And you are with great people! Enjoy yourself!

Now, goodnight!

Rise and Shine!

2009-04-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of taking pain medication at least twice a day, my body is used to it. Bummer! 'Cause now my body has decided that it can't sleep on it's own. It thinks it needs to be babysat by liquid Vicodin.
::Newsflash, body:: You were fine for 24 years before taking this stuff! You don't need it!
I just hope this doesn't last much longer. This whole "detox", if I can even call it that. Finally falling asleep anywhere from 1-3 AM, and waking up at 6 AM is not working for me. 5 hours sleep is not enough for a mom of a 3 and 1 year old!!!

C'mon body. WORK!

Easter is in the air.

2009-04-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

Easter is always a fun day. It's always exciting, magical, sweet. There is just something in the air on that day! It's an amazing day...

I am especially excited for Easter this year. I'm not sure why.

It could be because the girls are older now. Alexis is really understanding what Easter is really all about. Well, she knows the reason we celebrate, doesn't really understand. She definitely knows about the eggs, candy, and bunnies though, and that's fun. Addison can enjoy it all too. She can eat some of the sweets, and hunt for the eggs.

I could be especially excited this year because after having such a crazy year, I've become so much closer to God, and this is probably the most important Christian holiday. I think this is the first year I've really realized just how huge the meaning of Easter is. I've always thought it was a special day, something we celebrate just a little harder, and then on top of it all, we get candy. But this year is different. I've just become just a more dedicated woman of God, especially in the last few months, and I am so excited to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ with my family, friends, and church!

And it also could be because I went nuts and made the girls awesome Easter baskets this year! I told myself not to, but I couldn't help it! Gotta love the Dollar Tree!!

Easter is so in the air!!! It's Thursday but Sunday's coming!!

I give it to you, God!

2009-03-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

That's such a hard sentence! When things get rough, hard, we, as humans, naturally start stressing, worrying. God wants us to be happy. He's there to help.

I want to give this to you, God! I hand over all the struggle, all the confusion. Help me to draw strength from you, and to be calmed by the knowledge that its all in your hands! Hold me close, and hold close those around me. Speak to me when I am ready. Guide me in Your way! Lord, You are awesome. And I know that if I fully trust in You, all will turn out okay. Thanks for all You do!

AMEN

Want some cheese with that...

2009-03-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

Seriously. It's just after 8:00 in the morning, and already Alexis' whining is driving me nuts. I love the girl to death, and I can handle her being clingy and needing a little extra attention.
But the WHINING! Something I've NEVER been able to handle.

Not fun...

Making a house a home...

2009-03-20T21:43:00.001-07:00

I need to figure out some easy and inexpensive ways to create a more comfortable environment inside my home. It's a pretty comfortable place already, but there are definitely some elements missing...I am just not sure what.

I think what I want to do is take one room at a time, spend about $100 and just add some art/pictures on the walls, put up some curtains, and some shelves with decorations. I would love to feel like my house is finally finished. Its my home, but I feel like we've never fully decorated, like we've never fully settled in.

Now if only I could find that $100...???

My Little "Boy"

2009-03-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

Addison is always snot-nosed, dirty, food down the front of her shirt, drool on her chin, dirt in her fingernails, stains on her pants... She's as close to a boy as I'll ever get!! People get her cute frilly dresses and it just doesn't work! It really doesn't look right on her! Her personality is SO much different from Alexis', and it pretty crazy to watch it develop even further! So much more independent, and loves to rough-house! I swear, she's my little boy!
Addison...

How could you not love on her anyways, though??

Oh My!

2009-03-16T20:20:00.001-07:00

Life is nuts! Seriously. The past few months went by so fast, I can hardly even remember them! Not kidding!

So much has been going on, I'll try and see if I can remember it all!!

Alexis and Addison both had birthdays. I realized that I am one of the lucky few who is able to do a combined birthday party!! And with Addison turning one and Alexis turning three, I was still able to coordinate colors and such! I never knew how hectic parties could be until this year. It was insane. Pandemonium! Two hours of crazy, loud, crying and screaming and laughing and cake smashing and tissue paper ripping, and bubble blowing! It was chaos, but it was sure fun! I am just glad I only have to do that once a year. Like I said, I'm lucky!

We also had to switch Addison to cloth diapers. Ick. I was never one of those mom's that needed to be earth-friendly, and wanted to do what's best for my child's skin. May sound bad, but I parented by convenience. Whatever was easiest, I did. But with Addison having such awfully sensitive skin, we've had to change our attitudes a LOT! I've realized that it's not about me, its about her and her well-being. So, after some research, (and some compromising) we went with gDiapers. They are kind of a mix between cloth diapers, and disposables. They have a cloth pant, plastic-like liner that snaps into the pant, and then flushable/biodegradable inserts that absorb the pee and poo! Its less mess that cloth, but the downside is that you have to keep buying the inserts, and they are a little more expensive than regular diapers. BUT, her skin has cleared up a lot since the switch, and that makes the price difference way worth it! Its a pain though, let me tell you!!!

I also have been having this eye issue. If anyone knows something that can help me, I would appreciate suggestions!! It feels like my eyes are incredibly dry! And I feel like I have to blink about 10x as much as normal. Its almost uncontrollable. I thought it was allergies at first (started about 3 weeks ago), but after taking allergy medicine, it hasn't helped. I've used three different kinds of eye drops, artificial tears, Dry Eyes, everything! Nothing has helped in the long term. The last idea I have is that it's due to stress/exhaustion! With both my girls being sick and having some major issues right now, by the end of the day, I am DONE. And my eyes seem to get really bad around 4-5 PM, and just continue to be bad throughout the evening until I go to bed. They are super sensitive to light and air as well. So weird! But it's getting to the point that I'm scared to drive. I am blinking so much, and have so much discomfort because of it, that I can't concentrate on the road at all! So, I'm serious, any suggestions would be helpful!!

And next month, on the 10th, I am going in to get my tonsils out, and my nose worked on. I have a deviated septum, so they have to go inside my nose and straighten out all the cartilage in there. I will probably start feeling a lot better, more energized, less cranky, and have more patience!! As much as I'm dreading the recovery, I am super excited to see how this will affect my life! I tend to get so frustrated with such simple things throughout the day, and I really want to be able to be the best mom for my girls. Hopefully this will help me!!

So, my life is just crazy, and nuts, but I guess that's just the life of a mom!!

I know you're there...

2009-01-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

Life has just been one giant roller coaster. So cliche, but so true. Our family has had to endure so much heartache and trauma in the last few months. More than any family should. Deaths, sicknesses, emergencies, struggles, addictions, worries, fears... I turn to God, that's all I can do. I know He will see us through this crazy time in our lives, I just hate the idea that I don't know what he will be seeing us through. Will He be holding our hands at more funerals? Will He be rejoicing with us as we celebrate wellness? Will He be healing marriages, or holding our heads up through divorces? Will He finally calm our nerves? I'm not sure. I just pray. I pray for strength. I pray for comfort. I pray for support. I pray for peace. I pray for knowledge. I pray for bonds... I want so badly to be at a place in my life that I can finally relax. Where I can just sit back and enjoy my children, without worrying and stressing about all that's on my mind. I hope that soon that day will come.
There's a song by Tenth Avenue North that, no matter what, always makes me feel better. It doesn't always completely apply to how I'm feeling, but the words speak to my heart like no other song has ever done. I truly feel that its God's words to me. Not a lot of songs are written as words of God. I mean, how could we possibly know what He would say? But, this song feels so real. Something He really WOULD say to me.
"And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you"
I love the idea of His hands around me. Holding me up. Forcing me to look, to listen, to trust. I'm comforted in all my trials, in all my hurt, in all my heartache, that He has his arms around me. His hands are holding me. And He's by my side. It makes all that's going on around me just a little easier.

Lord, thank you for all you do for my family, my friends, and for myself. I thank you for the life you have given me, for the things you do for us everyday. I thank you for the people around me and I pray that I will take from them what I am supposed to. I pray that I can learn from them, and that they can learn from me. I pray for support. For the entire family. Whatever your will is, Lord, just keep by our sides and help us through this difficult time. We know you will never let us go, and that even if the outcome is not what WE want, you will be there for us. I pray for strength for Mike to keep fighting. Let him know that he has so much to live for. Touch his heart, Lord, whenever you can, help him see your ways. I am blessed to be able to know you, Lord, and I want others to feel the same comfort. I thank you again, for all you do. For your grace, for your son, without those we would be lost. In your son's name, AMEN!

Bad Things Come in Threes

2008-11-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

Bad things come in threes...

This statement couldn't be more true. About two weeks ago, my brother, who is battling cancer, got the news that he would be needing more chemo treatments. This was after he was recovering well and was under the impression that the cancer was gone from his body. Then, last week, we got news that my great aunt (grandpa's sister) passed away. It was sudden, unexpected, and tragic. Tonight, I got the call that my grandpa had died. Heart attack.

This is all so devastating. My brother is a strong man, but seeing him so weak is absolutely heartbreaking. He has an amazing support system, but cancer sucks. Cancer doesn't care about us. It doesn't listen, it doesn't obey. It sucks. My great-aunt was amazing. She was hilarious and fun. She was always so young at heart. But she was a different lady in the last 10 years. After her daughter died suddenly, her attitude changed. She was still "Aunt Shirley", but different. Even still, her death came as a surprise to everyone. And we still don't know exactly what happened to her. And then tonight. I walked through the door after having a great dinner with my BFF, and I get slugged the stomach with the all-too-telling line: "I've got bad news..." I thought Kenny was joking, although I don't know who would really joke about something like that. My grandpa was awesome! He was in bad health, and was extremely devastated when this sister passed last week. So, it wasn't a complete shock. But hard none-the-less. My grandpa was hilarious, he was brilliant, and we loved him so much. We lived with he and my grandma for a while when we first moved up north, and he was like a father to me for years. I always knew this day was going to come, but I never knew how I would react. Its hard. That's all I can say...

Bad things come in threes. I'm glad the saying isn't "bad things come in fours..." I don't think I could handle one more thing.

God is amazing and does amazing things. And He will pull us through these hard times. I'm praying for strength and for support. For my family, as well as for myself.

Amen

We can work 'til 8...

2008-10-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

I hate, despise, loathe solicitors. My home is my sanctuary. When you disturb it, you disturb me. When you knock on my door and try to sell me something, I am not only wanting to slam the door in your face, I want to slam my palm in your face as well. If I want to buy something, I will go to store and buy it. I don't need someone coming and interrupting my day to tell me what I "need".

So, last night, I am quietly, and excitedly getting the girls ready for bed. My favorite time of the day. A knock on the door startles me a bit. I look at the clock: 7:45 PM. Hmm. Maybe it's the neighbors. I immediately look down the make sure I'm dressed appropriately (you all know you do it!) and I slightly open the door. It's an elderly man dressed in some uniform, with a clipboard in his hands. I feel my blood start to boil. Why is this man here at almost 8:00 at night?

Man: Is your mother home? Or the owner of the home?
Me: I own it... (attitude is POURING from my body)
Man: Oh. You look like a teenager!
Me: I'm not..
Man: That should be a compliment!
Me: ::Blank stare::
Man: Well, at my age...blah blah blah (I stopped listening and started wondering when he was going to give me the opportunity to tell him no thanks as politely as I could possibly muster...)
Me: ::Blank stare::
Man: I'm with Home Something-Or-Other, do you have any home improvements...
Me: We're not interested. And it's a little late...
Man: Oh I know. But we're allowed to work until 8. You dont have any home improvements your looking into?
Me: No. It's too late. Thanks.
Man: Oka---
Me: Slam the door.

Wow. Don't come to my home at 8 PM, and tell ME that you are allowed. Go away. Sell elsewhere. AND I'M NOT A TEENAGER!! How dare he. I'm too young for that to be a compliment!

Hairapy

2008-10-29T20:36:00.000-07:00

I did it...

Introduction. Better late than never...

2008-10-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

I realized that I have never introduced myself.

My name is Ali. I am 23, married to Kenny and I have two amazing daughters. I have a huge family, and I love them all. They are all my best friends. I have great friends who love me for who I am. I love to laugh. I love to play with my kids. And I love just being me!

Kenny is awesome. We met when I was 16, he was 18. After two years, we got married. I was literally right out of high school. It was December 27, 2003. We are coming up on 5 years! Insane.
After being married about 2 years, and just moving into our first home, we found out I was pregnant!!

Enter Alexis Renee. She was born March 4, 2006. She is the funniest, cutest, most interesting little girl I have ever met. And I'm not just saying that! :o) She really truly is a special girl. She is a picky eater, a champion whiner, and she loves worship songs! She's great.
We thought for sure we were done after Alexis. We wanted one child and that was it. Then the baby bug started "bugging" us when Lexi was about a year old. And sure enough, he got the better of us...

Then came Addison. I found out on Father's Day of 2007 that I was pregnant again. Which was weird, because I found out on Father's day of 2005 that I was pregnant with Alexis! Strange. Anyways, Addison Claire was born Febraury 25, 2008. She is now 8 months old and is a fatty. We love it. She eats everything in sight, including cat food, shoes, and an occasional leaf tracked into the living room. She is an awesome little baby. She is content with life. I hope she stays that way.

I couldn't be more blessed. I have such a great family and I am happy. I am young, so no one thought that Kenny and I would last. Especially after having kids. But we are so bonded, and have only gotten stronger as a couple as the years pass.

That's me. And my family. :o)

That's it...

2008-10-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

I'm chopping my hair off again.

Every time I cut my hair, I get mad at myself. I think "Why did I do that? I want long hair! I want it back!"

But, after months and months of letting it grow, it gets to this point of kinda long, kinda short, kinda frizzy, kinda straight, kinda curly, kinda GROSS! Either I am not patient enough, or I'm denying the fact that I really do like short hair.

I dont know. I am a mom. I don't have hours to spend on my hair. I don't have money to always get it done. I just need something simple but yet still cute and stylish.

So, that's it... I will be chopping it off! Today at 4...

The Adventures of Alexis and Addison

2008-10-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

They sure do have some great adventures. These girls can play. And they do it suprisingly well for their age/size difference. Addison is a brute though, so she takes it all well.

Alexis was playing with Addison just a minute ago, and I casually told her to play gently with her. A few minutes later, the noise level rose just a smidge, and then a crash came. I expected to hear an 8 month old's cry, instead I heard a 2 1/2 year old's whine. I looked, and Alexis was laying on her back against the walker. She looked at me and immediately looked over at Addison and said...

"Addison, don't push me!"

Then she walked away.

I had to hold back my laughter. How dare she accuse her baby sister of pushing her over! What a little....2 year old! :o)

Little Ballerinas

2008-10-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

Halloween this year is going to be great. I hope. Alexis and Addison are both going to be ballerina's. I decided to just make their little tutu's since good ones online go for like $40. No way. So, I slaved for weeks (or like a day...) over these tutu's and they came out great! A little poofy, but what's wrong with a little poof... And I think they are going to look more like ballerina-fairies...cute nover-the-less!!
They both tried them on and didn't really want to take them off. Well, Addison didn't care either way, she doesn't have an opinion yet. But Alexis was pretty upset when we have to put her dress away. She told me she "loved her dress", and gave it a hug before we hung it in the closet.
So, like I said, this Halloween is going to be pretty neat. I am very excited to put the whole costume on them and snap pictures like crazy!
I'm also excited because they so far have about 4 events to go to where they can wear the costume. My biggest pet peeve about Halloween is that they wear the costume you spent all this money on once and then it goes away forever. This year they are wearing it over and over. Plus, they can wear the tutu's for dress up!! YAY!

Icky, Smelly, Dirt Monster

2008-10-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing as an Icky Smelly Dirt Monster? If so, I think one has been living in my attic for the past, oh, 6 months. He must come down after I clean and mess up my house while I'm taking a shower. Or while I'm running errands. Or while I am sleeping. He must have super powers, and he must have the ability to move super fast, because it seems like my floors become sticky as quickly as they are mopped. He leaves his stench behind, that's really the only reason I know he's been here. Well, other than the crumbs all over my floor, and the little feet print.

I think that when I am in the shower, he comes down from the attic, takes some crackers, crumbles them all over my floor, mostly shoving them under the couch, under the table, and on the counter. Then I think he takes a cup of juice, lightly splatters it all over the living room and kitchen floor, then he proceeds down the hallways and continues his splattering fun. He walks outside, steps in dirt and loose grass, and begins to track it all over my floors. But being careful to only leave big piles of dead grass in front of the doors. And like I said, he leaves his stench. It's bad...

Oh and I think his name sounds something like Alexis. Or maybe Addison. Something like that.

Wow, it's been too long!

2008-10-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

My goodness. It's been like 3 weeks! I have been super busy and have not had ANY time to sit down and blog. The girls are down with a snack, so I have a moment...or 5.

Kenny and I have finally started on our backyard project! I'm super excited because anyone who knows me knows how much I despise our backyard. It's big, ugly, and shaped weird. Well, not shaped weird. Just has weird access. So, to make a long story short, my amazing dad came over and helped Kenny pound out a bunch of our concrete, shape it, and we will eventually be planting some grass!! I'm really really exciting to actually have some grass back there. I can let the girls run around back there and not worry! Something most people with a back yard take for granted. I will never again look at a backyard the same...

I've also been getting more involved in the Stirring. Well, getting to know the other moms. They are all amazing. Such a great group of women and kiddos. Like tons of them! They meet often throughout the week and take the kids to the park, or go for walks. So, I've been trying to meet up and not only get to know them, but let them get to know me and my girls. Its great to be with other women and know they are full of great morals and values. I'm loving the community of people and I'm excited to know more about everyone...

The girls have been great. Alexis is starting to act like a terrible two year old. Of course. But, if I try my hardest to spend a ton of time with her throughout the day she seems better. I think Addison being here is finally getting to her. I have to spend so much of my time hovering over Addison that Alexis doesnt always get much of my time. So, I've been making it a point to sit in her room, color with her, read with her, anything with her, while Addison is sleeping. That way she doesn't feel like she's had a mother stolen from her. Kenny's been trying to do the same. He came home and took her to work with him the other day. It was the last hour of the day so she was able to just play and have fun there. She feels so special when she's at daddy's work, so its always a great experience. So, all in all, she's getting more attention and seems to be responding well to it!

Ahh...I think the girls are wanting naps now. Snacks are about done, now its time for sleepy! And time for Mommy to relax a little! Ugh. I should be cleaning while they sleep, but who wants to clean?

God of This City

2008-09-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

It's crazy how one song can be so powerful, huh?

Music is what really gets me. I am more moved by a song than anything else. I could be at the biggest, most beautiful church with the world's best speaker, and I would be more moved by someone sitting next to me singing "God of This City" under their breath.

And there's something even more moving about an entire room full of people singing together. Worshiping together. I remember feeling that for the first time when I went to a MercyMe concert. I was still new the the "Christian scene" and when they sang "Word of God Speak" they turned to microphone over to the audience and everyone in the auditorium was singing. It gave me chills. It gives me chills still...just thinking about it.

And going to the Stirring last Sunday, they sang "God of This City"... It gave me a new love for the song, and a huge appreciation for this community. Seeing and hearing everyone sing the awesome lyrics. It was huge.

There is no one like our God... Greater things are still to be done in this city.

Don't ever forget that. I won't...

Another day, another post...

2008-09-26T23:06:00.001-07:00

The day is done. The night is just beginning. Sounds like I'm in for some wild crazy night. I'm not. I'm in for a blog entry and sleep.

Looking back at the last couple days, I've realized how crazy its been. Typing it all out probably wouldn't seem so, but in my head it was.

Addison had her first "bloody" accident. No biggie, really. She was trying to watch Lexi play in the bathtub, and while attempting to pull herself up onto her feet (yeah, she does that now, too) she slipped and bashed her face against the side of the tub. Sounds more traumatic than it really ended up being. She cried, I swiped my finger in her mouth to check for blood, found a small amount, but realized it was a TINY cut on her lip. She was fine in a matter of minutes. Still something to write about and save in my "memories"!

Lexi, poor thing, has been noticing my stress level and has begun to stroke my face and tell me "its okay, Mommy!" Which only makes me feel like bawling even more! But it's really sweet. She really is turning out to be a wonderful little girl. Not that I doubted she would, but it's neat to see her as a "kid" rather than a "baby"! I just feel bad when she sees me so stressed, and has started to really understand that...enough to tells me its going to be okay. Every mom has stress, right?!

Glad the last few days are over. Looking forward to a full, exciting weekend.

Is 7 too early for bedtime?

2008-09-25T19:23:00.001-07:00

Not tonight! Lexi is in her bed as we speak. Or type...

I just couldn't handle it anymore. It's always easiest when she is in bed, whether it's for nap or "nigh-night". Why? Because, compared to Addison, Lexi sleeps like a baby! Or a toddler? No matter how much noise Addison and I make, Lexi will stay asleep! And when Addison is asleep, Lexi and I have to be super quiet. Yeah right. Keep a 2 1/2 year old quiet? What world am I living in?

So, Lexi is laying in bed watching "Zaf and Cody" drinking her strawberry milk. I'll turn the TV off in a while. I guess that's my trade-off in my mind. Put her in bed early, let her watch TV...

Now, if only I could relax. Addison will be up in a matter of minutes, I'm sure. 'Cause you know babies have sensors. Mom's about to sit on the couch with some ice cream and a blanket? *BOING* I'm up! WHAAAAAA!!!!!

*SIGH*

We all start out as insomniacs?

2008-09-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Addison is refusing sleep. Does she realize that I would KILL for a nap? Of course not, she's only 7 months old. But still...

Addison, the crib is not a toy.
When you are in there, it's sleep-time.
Not play-time.
Why can't you just understand that?
I can tell you want to fall asleep.
I can tell your tired.
You fuss at me.
Well, I tried to help.
Tough.
I guess you just have to play some more.
I'm sure you're bummed...

Creepy Crawler

2008-09-25T13:45:00.001-07:00

I officially have a crawler. Addison is now 7 months old (oh, 7 months today acutally) and is now crawling. She's been "army crawling" for about two months now, but her fat little arms are now strong enough lift the weight of her body. So cute. But so scary.
Alexis (my 2 1/2 year old) didn't crawl until after she was 8 months and even then we never really had to "baby proof". She was a great baby and never got into anything.
Addison is going to be into everything. Since she's already been "mobile", we have an idea of how things are going to be. And our idea is a scary one.
I am not looking forward to the walking stage.
Can I pause time?

For starters...

2008-09-25T13:36:00.001-07:00

Blogs have to start somewhere. This is my beginning. The start of something new. The green light. The fuel that's added to flames of my....blog? No that doesn't work...

Anyways, this is the first entry of a "web log" about my life. My journies, my adventures, and my trails.

Enjoy...